So those who know me know I am skinny. And everyone thinks skinny people dont have problems. But skinny people also need a little body positivity.
Growing up here in Africa i was made to feel like being skinny was a health condition or a disease. African women should have big butts and big breasts. So for the longest time I actually wanted to gain weight. I wanted the curves and the ass and the boobs because that’s what everyone else looks like.
In primary school I was bullied for being thin. I would hear rumours about how I have AIDS which is why I’m all bones. So from a very young age I didnt want to be skinny. Weird right? Usually you hear people wanting to look skinny and whatnot but not me. I would eat a lot and not gain weight at all. Well weight that was visible anyway.
In high school I had friends who were really blessed with the butt. And if we are being honest in high school a lot of the guys checked girls out for their butts so if you were like me, you’d get overlooked because you still look like a 4th grader. I mean some 4th graders had bigger butts than me. And I know now you not supposed to wanna change for guys but back then I was just in high school, wanting to be liked by the cute guys.
In varsity my body image really dipped because there were a lot of bootylicious yellow bone females all over the place. Again in my head I knew I was gonna get overlooked for some “thick” mami. I even did squats to try and make up for it but it wasnt working and I got fed up and gave up. So instead I really got into my already existing tomboy look. If I was going to be overlooked it would be because i dressed like a boy and not because i wasnt thick enough.
Really not saying there weren’t people who found my body size just right but it just felt like it wasnt enough. I couldnt do anything about my body size, not squats, not overeating. Nothing I just stayed skinny with chubby cheeks. And you find plus size people saying they wish they had a body like mine, meanwhile I wish I had a body like theirs.
My health would come into question when my weight came up. My body mass index was all wrong at some point but it’s okay now. I gained 10kg between 2018 and now and when that started happening I was really pleased. Right now though I dont mind my weight so much I just want abs, screw everything else. It took some self validation, other’s validation and I dont know, some positive affirmations for me to accept I was just gonna be a skinny girl and that was okay. I am lucky to not need to wear a bra because bras suck so there’s an upside of being skinny.
The general assumption is if you are skinny, you have no worries. You eat whatever you want and you stay the same size. But then if you have some people telling you, you dont resemble a real African woman then that could really bother you. Those words guys say in high school making fun of your flat ass really do damage and that’s why skinny people need a different kind of body positivity. All bodies are beautiful right? You set your own standards for what weight makes you beautiful and screw society.