Sex & Relationships

Can Love be Learnt?

In the olden days and part of these new days there was such a thing called arranged marriage. Families would come together and discuss the marriage of their kids without the kids consent. And it didnt matter if you knew or loved the person you were set to marry, you could always learn to love them with time.

Can that still happen now? Can you be in a relationship with a person and learn to love them? Is that possible? Maybe if you want to. Maybe if you really wanna love them then you could. But I feel like if you have to learn and want to love someone maybe you shouldnt.

Theres been movies where character A was in a relationship with character B but was not in love with them at all even though they were together and eventually character A left character B to be with someone they did love: The Notebook. Bitter Chocolate. The perks of being a wallflower. Great Gatsby. 16 Candles. All these have examples of cases where love just couldnt be learnt. It just wasnt supposed to be.

Cookie says love is a choice. You choose to either love or not love someone. It doesn’t just happen.

There are cases where eventually you learn to love someone. Maybe it takes a few months or takes 7 years. But eventually you learn. I dont know if I want that kind of love where I need to teach myself to love a person. How genuine is it? How do I know it’s not tolerance because we’ve been together for so long or settling rather? I want genuine love. Love that just happens. Easy, naturally, that kind, the kind that starts with a spark. But then again theres no timeframe so maybe just when you think after 2 years you dont love someone, you wake up and realize you love that person. Does that count as learning?

I have read a whole bunch of books that I actually liked for some reason where a girl gets kidnapped and then her captor is the love of her life. Yes yes Stockholm Syndrome and all that but it could be that their captors taught their captives to love them. Maybe? And then it would be possible. Okay that probably doesn’t help my case so I’ll drop it. I’ve always found these type of stories interesting but moving on.

Okay but I am asking serious questions here, in need of answers. Can you learn to love someone? How long does it take? Cant we just let like be enough? Is loving someone something that you have to actively teach yourself? Does love happen even when there isnt that initial spark?

2 thoughts on “Can Love be Learnt?”

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